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Dick in a Box - Wear It Proudly
Written by celly  -- Tuesday, 02 January 2007
Dick In a Box | Tshirt Lets start '07 off right. I know posts have been slow, but no one reads this shit anyways. The Internet Tshirt industry jumped the shark last September... So I needed some time to cool my jets off before I started posting again. If I didn't it would most be hate posts blasting people... And considering how small the audience is now, imagine after 20 pages of 'Wow, This Sucks' posts... Anyways, I was too busy in 2006 bringing Sexy Back... [Whoa.. Nelly.. A lil too much JT in this post already...] We'll see what I decide to do this year...

... Then again .. This is the Interweb .. people do like cynics ..

So, What do you do to start off 2007? Well, you take the most viral video to ever hit the Internet, and make a tshirt about it. I've actually seen this in shirt posted in a couple of places, where people are saying it's a bit too late. But I commend it. Busted Tees is doing nothing more than Celebrating the fact that Saturday Night Live (SNL) did something edgy and funny for the first time in atleast 5 years.

I try so hard every week to watch SNL. But I can barely make it 20 mins in without changing the channel to Animal Planet to see if I can catch some late night turtle on turtle action... But the Simple Viral properties of this video not only forced Millions of people to tune into SNL the next week thinking there would be more funny crap, but also showed the execs at NBC that if they put the edge back into the show... It'll be funny... And people will flock to watch it again.... Perhaps Studio 60 is a cry out for someone to do that... *shrug* -- Reguardless, by making this tshirt, all Busted Tees is doing is celebrating this skit... And Possibly asking to be sued.. Time will tell.. Buy early!

[ Note: I'm not linking to the video.. If you don't know what I'm talking about.. Then, well, perhaps you have a life.... ]

Cost: 18$ [USD / Admitting you like something Justin Timberlake Did]
URL: http://www.bustedtees.com

Last Updated ( Tuesday, 02 January 2007 )
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Time to Dress Like a Big Boy...
Written by celly  -- Thursday, 31 August 2006
Nice Looking TieThe sad thing is that I have come to the reality that the majority of my readers are not big "tie people".. God, I hate that. I think my biggest pet peeve in this world is people who wear the dreaded theme tie. You know what I'm talking about. Think about your last office Christmas party -- One of the IT guys had on a Star Wars tie, Larry the "Questionably Gay" HR rep had on some Disney tie where some character was dressed like Santa, and Bob the sales guy had his NASCAR tie on... [Because having a picture of Tony Steward point at your crotch is an awesome idea...]

The sick of it is, people don't realize the power of ties. They see them as some inconvenience you need to wear to some dreadful event or something you get as a present from unoriginal asshats.. A good tie has the power to make a cheap suit look great... A Great tie has the power to get a woman to notice you from across the room. And the perfect is the tie that ends being the only thing she is wearing when you wake up the next morning.

For instance, look at the difference in ties that George W. Bush and Bill Clinton wore/wear. President Bush wears these ass-clown corn flower blue ties that make him look like a powerless coward. Bill Clinton on the other hand mostly wore power red ties -- These made him stand out as a much more trustworthy and powerful person which helped get much higher levels of respect from the domestic and world communities.

Long story shirt, [hah, get it?] Skinny Corp has a new site called Naked & Angry which has some bad ass ties. Seriously, if you're one of those bumble nuts that insists on wearing themed ties, stop being that guy and head over to N&A and pick up a quality neck piece. Granted, none of them are real "power ties" they are seriously solid "social ties" and will be the perfect compliment to a nice suit. [Her Birthday Suit included... If you're intop that whole Hooker waiting for you Pretty Woman scene type thing...]

Remeber: A Tie is supposed to point to the Penis, not Cover it!

[Note: Yes I know Skinny Corp run Threadless... But, these are some damn nice ties.. and they are Limited to 100... So hopefully they won't have any 'Communist party' Incidents...]

Price: $95 [USD / Respect]
URL: http://www.nakedandangry.com/
Last Updated ( Thursday, 31 August 2006 )
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Faster than a speeding bullet...
Written by celly  -- Friday, 12 May 2006
Superman Shirt Superman is cool when Superman is done right. I think It was back in the early 90's when they tried to kill Superman off that people started to slowly make him lame. Suddenly he wasn't a symbol of super natural powers, but instead, a symbol of super natural dork. And Smallville and Lois & Clark just managed to make it super natural creepy dork. [I think that's just the WB's Special Effect department that made it creepy] Then you have people like Shaq, [Who I'll bet has never paid DC Comics a Dime for the use of the logo] who slaps the damn thing on everything. Dude, you're a bazillionaire, pay someone to make a logo for you, don't steal Supermans. Bleh...

Big Gay Superman Then you have people like this guy... This guy has no right dressing up like Superman... He has a better chance pulling off Star Jones than he does Superman.. Seriously, did Superman every wear what looks to be a cod piece under his tights? Hell no! Dear god, someone get this man a sock and marbles to put in there. -- And then please shoot me for making that observation. People like this need to get their asses kicked for violating the decency of a cultural icon. And then neutered, so that they don't pass on the "I think I look good in tights" gene. *sigh*

But, alas, as always here on NoBleach, we find the good in things people have destroyed. Like this freaking shirt! Holy cow I love it! laFraise comes out with lots of nice threads, but since they are French, and the majority of the people who read this are Americanski I tend to pass them by! But holy Nutella Batman -- This this is freaking great! But, it's Limited to only 500 Shirts.. [I figure thats how many they think thy can print before they get the Cease and Desist from DC Comics...] So, make sure you get one quickly..Superman Shirt

Oh, and when you wear the shirt, make sure you carry your `Speeding Bullet` -- The ladies love it... And just think of the pickup line... "Did you know that I'm faster than a Speeding Bullet?" [At least they can't call you a liar.. Then again, if you're that quick, I don't foresee them calling you at all..]

Cost: 20e [Euros / $7,234.73]
URL: http://www.laFraise.com

Last Updated ( Friday, 12 May 2006 )
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Tofu :: The other, other white meat.
Written by celly  -- Tuesday, 18 April 2006
Powered By Tofu Tofu is good fun... Just don't kid yourself, it doesn't taste like anything. However, it does a fine and dandy job of sucking up other flavors... So if you know how to mix together some magic cooking juice, then you can fry that junk up and have yourself a rather tasty meal.. Or two..

Anyways, this shirt was on this weeks episode of the Sopranos [ 04/16/2006 ] -- Meadow was wearing it during breakfast in one scene. So I decided to look for it and share with my peeps. Unfortunately, this shirt has two major strikes against it. First, it's Cafepress.. Which means the shirt quality is crap. Second, it's a shirt sponsored by PETA for their Vegan cronies... Bleh.. Vegans.. No one likes vegans... [Jews and Muslims both agree after they patch up their differences, the only people left to hate will be the Vegans]

So, exactly how Vegan is Tofu? Well, first it's made from beans. Those beans are grown on land that was stolen from animals without their permission.. Then, the beans are treated with pesticides and fertilizers which poison the water, insects, and surrounding vegitation killing whatever animals ingest them. Shortly after it's being processed by processing plants that create emissions from burning fossil fuels, which in return pollutes, and kills even more animals. Then, it's placed on an 18 Wheeler to be shipped, where the driver will kill his fair share of animals that wonder out in front of his Semi along the way. Finally it makes it to a super market where a Vegan purchases it, unwraps it, and cooks it. That wrapper makes it into the trash which is brought to a dump, and eaten by a seagull which dies as well.. So, in the process of saving one cow, or one chicken, the vegans have managed to be responsible for, encourage, or accelerate the deaths of multiple animals along the way! Good job guys! Way to prove your point!

Cost: $20.99
URL: www.cafepress.com

Last Updated ( Tuesday, 18 April 2006 )
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Been there, Dugg That.
Written by celly  -- Tuesday, 28 March 2006
Digg.com | Tee | Tshirt It's nice when a community can get something done. A few weeks back we here at NoBleach featured a "Concept" shirt that someone came up with for the website and community of Digg.com. Now, I'm pretty freaking sure we had nothing to do with it, but someone was listening, and sure enough a Digg tshirt arrived on the scene this week.

This is actually a pretty freaking cool shirt. Not only do you get the shirt, but you get a Sharpie to write what you Digg on it.. It's a shame it's not Dry Erase.. That way the shirt can be a bit more dynamic.. Like, when you're in line for checkout, you can write "I Digg: You speeding the F!@% Up" -- Or when your on trial for murder, update it to "I Digg: Aquital" and so on and so on... But, my guess is, the majority of geeks that buy this shirt will be running around with "I Digg: porn". But, to each his own...

So from the looks of the response from Digg, Jinx.com (The people making this shirt) are getting people to whip out cash for this faster than if Angelina Jolie was walking down the street with a price tag stuck to her ass... [Yeah, there are even a few girls right now going -- Yup, Uh huh.. I'd Tap that ass... Twice.. In the Morning..] So, good for them, and good for the community. If enough people ask for something [And especially if Capitalism is involved] we can get it done. yay!

Cost: $15.00 [USD / FREE FREAKING SHARPIE!]
Url: www.jinx.com


Last Updated ( Tuesday, 28 March 2006 )
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Lick it, Stamp It, Put it in a box.
Written by celly  -- Friday, 24 March 2006
FedEx Tshirt will eat your brain and poo UPS packages Oh what witty marketing we have seen this week. Everything from Volkswagen (VW) Fast TShirts, to the NoBleach exclusive Babes in Threads [Oh common, thats Marketing], and now FedEx.. What really surprises me is that none of the other 8,675,309 tshirt blogs didn't pick it up. But, I think I know the reason, they couldn't tell you where to buy it...

So, the crack NoBleach research team went on a tangent. We google'd, yahoooooo'd, even sold plasma to support our Starbuck caffeine binge.. But to no avil.. Then, I decided to call up FedEx and ask them where to get them. Hahaha, yeah right, trying to pry useful information out of FedEx customer service is like trying to pry the Ego out of Oprah... I'm not that stupid... But luckily, I had a trump card to cash in over at FedEx.

I rang up an old friend that used to work on their Marketing team, and asked them if they could find anything out... Well after giving me the name of someone else, I was informed that they are pretty sure it is a FedEx Marketing giveaway. My contact hadn't seen that EXACT shirt, but has heard lots of people talk about them and said that it was intended to be used at trade shows, and also sent to clients.

So, if you really want this genius marketing gem call your FedEx rep. If you don't have a FedEx Rep, then, well, you're SOL fool.

Note: Anyone Get the Tommy Tutone reference? Didn't think so.. :(

url: flickr

Last Updated ( Friday, 24 March 2006 )
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Time to un pimp your auto...
Written by celly  -- Wednesday, 22 March 2006
fast is my co pilot | VW | volkswagen So, what does a company do when their management is falling apart, sales are slumping, and overall product quality is rated lower than Ford? [Being rated lower than Ford for Quality, is like being rated Slower than Dom Deluise in the 100meter dash...] They come out with a kick ass ad campaign targeted at the hearts and minds of faux yuppy 20-30 somethings... Is there anything wrong with it? Nope.. Did it work? FRICK yeah! [Oh god, I just sid frick...] Hell, I've even I have considered buying one.. And I'm a uber hardcore Subaru person... [IMHO the GTi needs about 50 more HP, and VW's 4Motion AWD for < 25k to be a winner... ]

I'm not sure that the ads alone are going to encourage people to run out an Buy the new VW GTi MkV -- But it did get people looking at the VW product line again... And that is what marketing is all about... Because of this awesome achievement for VW's marketing team, I found the 'Fast is my Co Pilot' tshirt, and feel that it deserves a place in marketing history... To me this should be more of a giveaway wearable, but if you're a hardcore, enjoy...

On a side note, When you purchase the new GTi MkV, you get a 'Fast' doll with it... So, Instead of wasting time on action figures, why don't you spend that energy on making a dashboard that doesn't rattle or OEM windshield wipers that cost lest than 100$? And while your at it, come out with a limited edition MkV Turbo Diesel... **drool**

Link To One of the Ads: Google Video

Cost: $23.95 [USD / Vee-Dub in da hause!]
URL: www.ecstuning.com

Last Updated ( Wednesday, 22 March 2006 )
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Todays secret ingredient: Rachel Ray!
Written by celly  -- Tuesday, 14 March 2006
Iron Chef Tshirt Back in college my friends would play a game with me they Called Ghetto Iron Chef. Pretty much, they would get the munchies, and tell me to go make something out of what scraps they had in the freezer. It really is a miracle what inventions can come from: Ramon Noodles, 1 Egg, Hot Pocket, Instant Oatmeal, toilet paper roll, corkscrew, and an avocado. [ The last three were for, well. Never mind. ] -- Anyhoo, Iron Chef is now in America, and has added some US flair to it. Like, for instance, adding Cat Cora, who can barely beat a fry chef from McDonald's [ Yeah, Thats right. You SUCK! ] . But at the same time kept some of the original flair with Morimoto. [ Which no one picks to battle because he'll Shashimi your ass 6 ways, and then make fun of you in Japanese. ] Overall, Iron Chef is nothing to be ashamed of.. You can wear this shirt proudly. Remember: Chicks dig guys that can cook.

Ok, now, Back to our secret Ingredient. Since we are talking about the food channel, I just need to confess that I have a major crush on Rachel Ray. She's married to some dude in the band "The Cringe" -- Well, Rachel, if he happens to get hit buy a bus, You can be my secret ingredient any day. [ And by secret, I mean, you can't tell my girlfriend... ]

-- So, In the Words of my uncle, Allez Cuisine!

Cost: $14.95 [ USD / Truffles ]
URL: http://store.foodnetwork.com

Last Updated ( Tuesday, 14 March 2006 )
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I`ll wear your name if you wear mine?
Written by celly  -- Friday, 03 March 2006
branding is evilI can see it now, Calvin Klein walking around with a shirt that says “Celly”, some “Celly” Jeans, and a pair of Air Jordan's.. [ Who am I kidding, Celly shoes suck compared to Air Jordan's.. ] It'll never happen, so why should I extend him the same courtesy? No way. We get forced fed a plethora of advertising and marking garbage already as it is, there is no need to become a walking billboard and add to the pollution. Especially, when you're not getting paid to do it. Regardless, I think this will be my next shirt. I like it. It coo. It coo.

[ Okay, Okay... I do admit that I, on occasion, wear corporate Logo's. But, only for products I firmly believe in the quality of their product or service, ie. Apple's eWorld online service, Happy Family Midge, Crystal Pepsi , and my favorite food Bambeanos. ]

Cost: $19.00 [USD / Donnie Deutsch's]
URL: http://www.areyougeneric.org

Last Updated ( Friday, 03 March 2006 )
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Get Democracy for free!
Written by celly  -- Thursday, 23 February 2006
Democracy TeeNo, I'm not talking about the stripper you met a few months back... [ I'd so marry a stripper who used the name Democracy... Think of all the fun political sexual puns! ] And I'm not talking about Guns N' Roses new album Chinese Democracy [ To be Released in march? ] I'm talking about the Internet TV Platform. This is super cool, it's a video player that feeds off of podcasts, video blogs, and BitTorrent feeds. And IMHO Video Podcast will be the next big thing, so be ahead of the trend... [ Then again, I also thought a t-shirt review blog was a good idea... ]

From the site: “ ... Download and watch all the best Internet TV shows and videos in one powerful application. New channels arrive daily in the built-in Channel Guide. Stop squinting at tedious web videos-- sit back and watch big, high resolution videos one after another. It's so easy to use that you'll be watching interesting videos in moments....”

Anyways, It is VERY VERY important we support our opensource projects. Even more important to support the cool ones. Here it's Win – Win. You support the project, and a kick ass shirt in return. Good work guys! Keep it up! [ If I buy 2 shirts will you port it to OS/2? ]

Cost: $15.00 [USD / Democracy]
URL: www.getdemocracy.com

Last Updated ( Thursday, 23 February 2006 )
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