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| Written by celly
-- Monday, 10 April 2006 |
Oh common, it's still funny... I still remember 6th grade and all the jokes we made on DARE day. They had the worst cartoons in the booklets they made us study from. It was almost like they reused cartoons from a Spanish text book, and just colored in the end of tacos to make them look like pills.And then after 6 weeks of class, after spending countless hours listening to Officer "I pissed off HR so now I have to teach DARE" and drawing mustaches on pill popping sombrero Joe, It was finally graduation day.
Now, when you graduated from DARE, you were supposed to have someone famous come and talk to your class. We were supposed to get Hulk Hogan... Unfortunately for us the Hulk was busy kicking ass, so he sent us a video instead... We were upset but in all realit y what we really wanted were our free tshirts! There is something about a free tshirt that drives people wild. I'm convinced that the cheap labels massage some erotic t-zone, but most likely we just like free meals when we can get them ... Regardless, We wanted that DAMN free shirt...
For about the next three weeks, the whole 6th grade washed and wore that shirt.. If you didn't wear it at least 4 times that week, you were a looser. It was a sea of black, moving through the hallways. [Except for the fat kids, they forgot to order any in their size]  Everyone was talking about how exciting it'll be to loose your virginity in your free DARE shirt or who boobs looked the biggest in their their DARE shirt.. It was a great time for all.. We were a proud Bunch, and with Hulk Hogans taped words still ringing in our ears there was nothing we couldn't 'Just Say No' to...
Then a few weeks later, Hulk Hogan himself admitted to having a drug problem. We were crushed! Our souls shattered. All along we were lied to, by none other than Hulk Hogan himself! So, the whole school got together, and in a tear filled ceremony we all burned our DARE shirts. We could have nothing to do with them, because now the purity, pride, and self confidence these shirts brought everyone had been shattered... By none other, than the mighty Hulk man himself...
It has been over 15 years since the great Hulk Hogan DARE mishap of Wellington Middle School... And there isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about it... Mostly while drinking hard liquor, smoking paint chips, and snorting lines of coke off a hookers ass... [I'm just kidding.. I don't drink liquor, I'm a beer man...]
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| Last Updated ( Monday, 10 April 2006 ) |
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